A day at a time
I live with cancer every day. This year was the first year since I was diagnosed seven years ago that I forgot my ”cancerversary“ on June 6th. The day came and went and I didn’t even think about it. Which feels very strange to me since that is a day that will forever be etched into my memory. I don’t have many days that I remember every single detail of but, this day is one of them. I remember it all. From the eggs I had for breakfast to the shower I took before I got the phone call to come into the doctors office. I remember the drive over to the office and I even remember the t-shirt the nurse was wearing (it said Crush Cancer - like the brightly coloured pop cans we have grown to love since we were children) I remember waiting in the room and how the plastic chair became more and more uncomfortable with every second that passed. I remember the doctor walking in and him being a complete stranger to me as my family doctor had recently left town. He was young and wore a nicely pressed shirt and black dress pants. He’s the one who had to deliver this news to a mother of a two year old. He’s the one I felt sorry for. He sat in his chair and looked concerned about my reaction. I’m sure he could tell I went into shock as I instantly started to make jokes trying to ease the tension in the room and make him laugh. Asking if I had to go through Chemo and lose my hair because that’s all I had going for me. He totally didn’t laugh and went on to tell me that this was the “best kind of cancer and that if he had to chose which kind he’d rather get - this would be it“. I went home with very little information other then the name of my cancer (also forever etched into my memory) words I had never heard of before in my life, Papillary Thyroid Carcinoma, and a few names and numbers for resources and specialists. The only thing I remember after that is gardening. I went home and I gardened for the rest of my day.
The next six weeks of my life were intense to say the least. I have never researched more in my life than during this time. I learnt everything there is to know about thyroids and their functions (I didn’t even know wtf a thyroid was prior to this) I researched every alternative option there was to healing cancer and living with cancer. I found the most inspiring people and read their stories. I watched documentaries and read peer reviewed articles. I studied the operation they wanted to perform on me to remove my organ and the procedures that would take place afterwards. I needed to know all of my options even though the medical world told me I only had one. I found that there was practically an infinite amount of options in the alternative world. I still went and saw the specialists, I was pointed at and laughed at. Even told by a doctor “I don’t know anything about holistic medicine except that it doesn’t work and you’ll be back in my office soon enough” he then looked at his students who were there learning and laughed in my face. This moment didn’t discourage me, in fact it made me stronger, after I cried for a bit. I was determined to prove all these doctors wrong and show them that there are in fact MANY ways to cure cancer. I continued to pursue my research on alternative medicines and on July 26 2013 I made the biggest lifestyle change I ever have in my entire life. I took clean eating to whole new level. I cut out all animal products. I cut out all processed sugar and even fruits with the highest sugar content. I created a very intense meal program for myself. I juiced greens every day. I took cleansing supplements and mushroom extracts. I started meditating and learning about crystals and reiki. I journeyed down so many incredible avenues that led me to myself. My true inner self. The person I had been searching for for years. I finally met her. She was a hurt and broken girl, silenced and unable to speak up for herself. I learnt that my cancer was in my thyroid for a purpose much larger then the medical world would ever understand. The doctors who told me “changing your diet won’t help. There’s nothing you can do to help this because there’s nothing that you did to cause this” were so wrong. They didn’t know my past. They didn’t know that I never found my voice. They didn’t know how blocked I was in my throat chakra. They aren’t taught these things in medical school. Please don’t get me wrong here. I am NOT bashing doctors or the medical world. They have their place in our world and they are amazing people too. They just don’t know everything and that’s ok. If we could have a more unified health care system that encompasses all avenues of health and each one is offered to us as a viable and effective option, we would have so many more healthy and happy people in our world. If you’ve chosen to take the medical route with your treatments I applaud you and your courage to do what you think is best for you and your family. I’m not here to take away from anyone else’s experiences. This is my own. When I first started sharing my story with the world and my community I had a lot of angry folks coming at me for being “crazy” and “in denial” and telling me that “I’m not thinking of my family” I heard it all. But what they didn’t seem to understand or want to believe is that I was able to make my own choices and I didn’t HAVE to agree with my doctors. I deleted my entire blog at that point because I wasn’t strong enough yet to stay grounded in my place of truth and tell them that I understood their fears and concerns. I’m here now, again, seven years later sharing my story with you all to perhaps inspire you to do your own research. To dive deep into your soul and listen. Really listen to the inner voice that we all have. Follow your intuition and remember that the only thing that will make anything worse than it is is fear. Fear is the real disease in our world. Let that fear go and come from a place of love and you can heal it all. We can literally heal the earth with love. The higher your level of frequency for love is, the more you’ll see everyone as a soul on earth just trying their best and when you see souls you see the beauty and light in our world. We have so much potential here on this big vast planet, let’s not waste it on fear. Let’s focus on loving each other and letting one another be. With love and light to you all ❤️🙏🏼